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Saturday, June 28, 2003

 
More Savage-ing Michael Savage


I can't resist! Too much fun

Last night I ate some really spicy Mexican food; boy did I have a bad case of Savage-rhea this morning!


If you get hot by jamming gerbils up your Michael Savage, you'll get Savage-roids.


If you Savage-bate too much you'll get hairy palms.


If you don't mind having your Savage sucked by strangers, you can always get someone to give you a Savage job by trolling the personal ads on adultfriendfinder.com


Some gay men get off by sticking their Savage in a Savage hole in men's bathrooms and having strangers suck their Savage.


Coprophilics are people who get off on eating Michael Savage, eeeewwww!


I was not looking where I was walking the other day and I stepped right into a steaming hot pile of Michael Savage.


Some chicks get off on having a man ejaculate his Savage in their faces. Some of them will even swallow the Michael Savage.


If you eat too many beans, you may Michael Savage-ulate all night and stink up the room.


A rather extreme way for gay men to get their rocks off, is by shoving their fist into another man's Michael Savage; this is called "Michael Savage-ing"


Men in prison will often resort to rough Michael Savage sex because there aren't any women around with whom to have sex.

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A good week for us


Well for once it was a good week for the sane people in America.


The Supreme Court struck down Texas' sodomy laws, Thursday 26 June was Appropriate Michael Savage's Name For Your Own Purposes Day, and the ambulatory zombie known as Strom Thurmond finally stopped twitching. Good riddance you racist bastard. You got some 'splainin to do at the Pearly Gates, methinks.

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Thursday, June 26, 2003

 
Why Michael Savage doesn't use his real name Michael Weiner


As proven by a well-known University of Georgia study on homophobia, a substantial percentage of homophobes are sexually aroused by homosexual activities.


Hate radio host Michael Savage loves to bash homosexuals.


Therefore it logically follows that there is a pretty good chance that Savage has a stash of gay porn somewhere on his hard drive. I bet after a hard day of hollering at everyone he hates (which is, in fact, just about everyone), he loves nothing more than sitting at his computer and double clicking open hot gay anal action MPGs he downloaded with Kazaa or Morpheus, at full screen, with one hand while wanking it with the other.


Not convinced? Then why did Michael use the surname "Savage" instead of "Weiner"?


Could it be that "Weiner" sounds too, well, phallic for someone so horrified that his listeners might somehow find out about his closet tendencies?


Then there's the unconscious, Freudian suggestiveness of the surname "Savage". Taken together with the previous hypotheses regarding his shameful feelings about his man-lust, it certainly conjures images of the kind of gay sex Michael prefers... leather clad, masculine bears frolicking in a Frisco bathhouse orgy, gleefully fisting and rimming one another in a vaseline-greased sadomasochistic spooge-soaked frenzy.


Is it any coincidence that today, "Appropriate Michael Savage's Name For Your Own Purposes Day", is the same day the Supreme Court struck down Texas' anti-sodomy laws????


I think not.


Now that even the Supremes, the same band of criminals who selected George "Too Stupid To Be President" W. Bush to squat in the White House, say the Constitution allows men (and women) to lick, suck, rim, fist, and ass-fuck those of the same sex to their heart's (and genitalia's) content... well, all I can say is, Michael "Weiner" Savage, it's OK to be gay. You can come out of the closet now. You're not fooling anyone.


We don't hate you for being a man-buggerer. (In fact I would bet some of us find it about the only endearing trait you possess). We hate you because you're a hate-mongering bigot who thinks only right-wing assholes are protected by the First Amendment.


You're already living in the best city in the world to be a homosexual, Michael. So scream it loud and scream it proud. "I, Michael "Weiner" Savage, love men! I lust after them! I am here, I am queer! Get used to it!"

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