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A snarky fly in
the right wing ointment

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Monday, February 28, 2005

"Golly Ma! Those Durn City Slickers Robbed Me Blind!"
 
Juan Cole links to this Daily Telegraph interview with Colin Powell, wherein the former general reveals the blindingly obvious:

Colin Powell, the outgoing US secretary of state, was given his marching orders after telling President George W Bush that he wanted greater power to confront Israel over the stalled Middle East peace process.

Although Mr Powell's departure was announced on November 15, his letter of resignation was dated November 11, the day he had a meeting with Mr Bush.

According to White House officials, at the meeting Mr Powell was not asked to stay on and gave no hints that he would do so. Briefing reporters later, he referred to "fulsome discussions" - diplomatic code for disagreements.

"The clincher came over the Mid-East peace process," said a recently-retired state department official.


*coughArmitagecough*

How dare Powell put US interests before those of Likud...

"Powell thought he could use the credit he had banked as the president's 'good cop' in foreign policy to rein in Ariel Sharon [Israel's prime minister] and get the peace process going. He was wrong."


In other shocking and completely uexpected events, it seems that ursine mammals tend to defecate in the forest, and the head of the Roman Catholic Church is, in fact, a Catholic.

"I'm very sore. I'm the one who made the television moment. I was mightily disappointed when the sourcing of it all became very suspect and everything started to fall apart. "The problem was stockpiles. None have been found. I don't think any will be found. There may not have been any at the time. It was the best judgment of the intelligence community, not something I made up. Clinton had been told the same thing."

Matter-of-factly, he adds: "I will forever be known as the one who made the case."

How on earth did it come about that intelligence could be so wrong? Were they [the CIA] guilty of telling President Bush what he wanted to hear? "I can't say that. What I can say is that there was a little too much inferential judgment. Too much resting on assumptions and worst-case scenarios. "With intelligence, sometimes you are talking to people who are perhaps selling you lies."

It seems that Colin Powell, the victim of weak intelligence, was also the victim of other people's politics. He is conscious that the whole business of the aborted second UN resolution, intended to authorise attack, invites derision.


So, Colin Powell went to the Big Apple and is shocked, SHOCKED, that he got taken in 3 card monte by some unsavory characters.

As sore as you feel, Colin, imagine how the families of all those dead soldiers in that war feel. Somehow I don't think they have much sympathy for you. You feel like you got conned, Colin? How about the rest of us out here?

Could anyone have been more accomodationist than Colin? And look what it got him.

There is a lesson to be learned here by anyone who thinks these neo-con assholes can be mollified or have any will whatsoever to compromise or moderate even the teensiest bit.

Fuhgeddaboutit.

What did Powell get for his willingness to compromise and be a "good soldier"? Not even 30 pieces of silver. Not so much as a handjob.

Ladies and gentleman, please allow me to introduce you to Colin Powell, the useful idiot whom the neo-cons abused and then threw away when they were done using him.

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Thursday, February 24, 2005

Blog (with apologies to Jon Kricfalusi)
 
What does the job
Of our media slobs
And cuts through the right-wing fog?
What exposes schemes
And fascist regimes?
It's blog, blog, blog
It's blog, blog,
It's bitchy, it's ASCII, it's def
It's blog, blog,
It's better than right, it's left!

Everyone's got a blog
No one updates their blog.

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Tuesday, February 15, 2005

The First Law of Blogodynamics
 
The incidence of trolls in a comments thread is directly proportional to the truthfulness or relevance of a given topic.

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Thursday, February 10, 2005

Napster Says, "iStupid!"
 
I'm accustomed to getting my daily dose of idiocy from the Bush regime but this is pretty goddamned stupid:

Napster has revealed an aggressive marketing campaign against Apple's iPod as part of its plans for a full launch of the Napster To Go portable subscription service later this quarter. The service is one of the first services enabled by Microsoft's Janus technology, which allows music files bought via subscription services to be transferred from a PC to a portable device.

According to Napster CEO Chris Gorog, his company is betting heavily that the monthly 'all you can eat' subscription model will win customers over the download strategy currently pursued by iTunes. Gorog believes the best way to market the new service is to emphasise its advantages over iTunes. He's particularly keen to highlight iTunes' iPod-only compatibility. "We're going to be communicating to people that it's stupid to buy an iPod."


If you own an iPod, write to Napster. You might want to tell them how you feel about being called stupid by the folks who "created" one of the absolute ugliest, lamest Super Bowl ads EVER.

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Friday, January 21, 2005

An Inauguration Limerick
 
Today we re-inaugurate
The chimp who has a mandate
For oppression, deceit and war
Get ready for four years more
Enjoy your freedoms before it's too late.

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Wednesday, January 19, 2005

There Are Two Kinds Of People...
 
...blue staters and red staters...

...passport-holders and non-passport-holders...

...to which I'll add Letterman fans and Leno fans. (even if you don't watch anymore, surely there's one you'd prefer over the other)

Johnny Carson is a Letterman guy.

Attaboy, Johnny.

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Tuesday, January 18, 2005

This Is How We Look To The Rest Of The World
 
Fat, fat, fat, fat, fat.

Check out the pic of the fat kid at this Italian newspaper's website.

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